Clean Ti

The Rancor of love (part two)

2006-04-28T16:03:00.000-07:00

Well, the huge annoying sound it made was actually it crying. It started to bang its huge fists on the ground. I looked at it with sadness, and deactivated my lightsaber. I went up to it. And I touched it. At first it didn't notice me, so I rubbed him, he was pretty slimy. It looked at me and it sniffed. It smiled (I think) and then spread its arms out as if to hug me. I gave in. The thing crushed me. It popped every bone in my back and arms. Then it dropped me. I felt better, like I just got out of the chiropractor's. I looked up at the jawas, and they started mumbling to eachother. One pulled out a gun. I whipped out my lightsaber again and ran to a barred gate blocking my exit. I slowly sliced through it. And when two bars were gone, I slipped out. As I was about to run away, I looked back. The beast was still sad and looked at me. I sighed and sliced the rest of the bars (twenty in all). After about ten minutes, the deed was done. I ran out with the rancor behind me. And then I forgot how I got on Tatooine in the first place... SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!
I am in a stupid hotel. Ya know... The one...

-Ti

The rancor of love.

2006-04-19T16:58:00.000-07:00

I was walking around in the deserts of tatooine (I think I spelled that wrong) AIMLESSLEY. And then I ran into a bunch of Jawas building a huge building. It had really big doors. I walked inside the half-built structure AIMLESSLEY. And I looked around. There were jawas everywhere. I guess they didn't notice me. As I was walking I saw a wall zip by from under me. I then hit it. I came to the conclusion that I was falling. As I was sliding along this wall-tube thing, It made a sharp turn outwards, and I zipped out and crashed to the ground with a thud. I got back up and viewed my surroundings, I was in a cave of some sort, and there was metal bars a few yards above me. I then smelled something very terrible. It got worse and worse. Then wet gook fell on my head, it was all slimy and crap. Get your mind out of the guttar because it was rancor saliva. Wait a sec.... RANCOR SALIVA??!?!?!!! I looked up and saw the huge beast with its sharp teeth and evil eyes and stuff. I screamed. Well, at least I tried to, all the came out was soft air. I ran to the tunnel I came out of and it shut. I looked up at the bars, and there were the jawas. Just watching. I had my lightsaber, so I took it out.

The rancor looked at me. I think its eyes were watering. It sat down with a huge crash and started moaning. The moaning turned to groaning. The groaning turned to roaring. The sound was terrible.

The suspense is mortifying, WHAT WILL HAPPEN???!! I have to print t-shirts and eat fewd. BYE BYE.

Bare feet shoes.

2006-03-08T18:27:00.000-08:00

No! I don't run around in my bare feet all day! STUMPID!!!! You guys are so stumpid. Okay, my feet are actually shoes! I'll tell you how:

Okay, so like, this one day, I was like, shopping at the mall, and I like saw an totally awesome pair of high heels. I was like, "OH MY GOD! I JUST gots to have THOSE!!!!!"

So then this guy comes up to me and says, and I quote: "AAAAHH!!! KAWABUNGA!!!! SHOO-SHOO SHHOOOOOO!!!!!!"

I was like, totally weirded out. So I said "shoes?".

He was like "OOOOOOOOH YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!! SHOO SHOO SHOO SHOO!!!!!!"

I was like, "Show me show me show me!!!!!"

He was like "OOOKKKAAAYYYY!!!!!!"

So he took me to his lair. It was a cave in the middle of the woods. I couldn't see inside because it was so dark. He made some weird screaming noises and a very bright light shined. I closed my eyes and the next thing I knew I was in a metal laboratory type thing. All the walls were metallic, and there was weird probes with electricity, big tanks, chemicals with smoke coming out of them, you know; the movie type lab. So he took me to this chair. He said "KAWABUNGA!" i guess he wanted me to sit down.

I sat down in the chair and he strapped me in. Did I mention that it was a chair? So he took this chair and he started playing with my feet. It tickled. Did I mention I was sitting in a chair? So he tickled my feet and it played, I mean played with my feet and it tickled, and he said "KAWABUNGA!"

With a flash of blurgsfitocn I had no shoes on. He took a electricity probe and aimed it dangerously towards my feet. I screamed...

I screamed liked I never screamed before. The force raged through me and I destroyed the place with my powers. I pushed and pulled objects everywhere, I broke the bonds on the chair, a bunch of chemicals spilled. You know, the movie type force rage. I then kicked the guy square in the face. I knocked him out cold. And for some strange reason, I didn't feel it. I kicked the wall. IT DIDN'T HURT! It must have been the force rage that made my feet invincible.

I hoped you enjoyed my story. As they say "today is yesterday's tommorrow."

Aerobics.

2006-02-25T12:01:00.000-08:00

I have discovered a new way to lose weight! I made a tape you see, it isn't an audio tape, or a video tape, it's duct tape! And you put it over your mouth for three days and don't eat! You'll lose all that annoying fat around your waist, buttocks, and thighs! It's what you've all been dreaming for! And its garunteed to work or you can go screw yourself...

Yeah so Im not fat anymore. I am lean and stuff. YAY!

My House.

2006-02-17T21:47:00.000-08:00

(haven't posted in ages). I haven't posted in so long because all I have been doing is meditating. So, I got kinda fat. Anyway, I am going to start working out more. Everything is like, weighed down. It is hard to move. It will be a while before I can get out of my chair... Ungh...

Ti

Test

2005-12-24T16:08:00.000-08:00

Everyone took this evil test thing! So... I did too. I thought I was evil...

no post long time!

2005-12-23T12:09:00.000-08:00

Sorry about not posting for a while. My alter-ego has been busy. BUT! I did do something today, I saw this thing. It was red... I ate it! Now I am blue! And my lightsaber canged color!!!!

-Ti

Today.

2005-12-16T11:10:00.000-08:00

I woke up today, and then I fell asleep.

-Ti

cookies, plug-ins, tomato juice, and some obi-wan

2005-12-04T17:01:00.000-08:00

To fix the smell in my room, that has been in here for a WEEK. I made a speacial stew. I got a huge pot and called Obi-Wan over. When he came I told him to get in some swim trunks. He looked at me and then sighed. He left my apartment to go get his trunks. When he came back I had already prepared tomato juice with cookies and plug ins all in one big pot. I told him to get in. He cocked an eyebrow.

"Uh, why?" He asked.

"Cant you smell it? The big poo smell?"

"...no"

I started to sniff. It wasn't there. I DIDN'T SMELL IT ANYMORE!!! Yay! It looks like I didn't need to do all that stuff after all. I went to the window and dumped the concoction all over someone's speeder. Obi looked out the window and saw what I did.

"That was my speeder."

There was a pause.

"Oh well." I said cheerfully "Now, get out!"

-Ti

My room stinks

2005-11-27T14:26:00.000-08:00

Yep, my room stinks. You see, there was a whole bunch of droids coming in to the temple. So Yoda did something... Never go up to Bob the bantha and say "pickles" 'cause he farts. BIG TIME. Yoda led the droids to the parking garage and made the bantha fart on the droids. And my room is next to the parking garage, and my air vent leads to the garage. So now my room smells really bad! I hope the smell clears out before my christmas party I want to throw. If it does, I'm gonna invite everyone over. I have been spraying a lot of air freshner. But I am getting kinda dizzy after spraying so much. I think I should open a window. Bye for now!

-Ti

Clean Slate

2005-11-26T22:07:00.000-08:00

I just got a message from Yoda. He basically told me that my blog was un-family friendly, and I obsess too much about attention. Im gonna wipe my slate clean and not post vulgar things anymore. And this is not because I want to appear on his site, just that this is unmorral for me to be writing this. I don't care that I am not getting front page on Google, or any of that stuff. I am just going to make funny stuff that everyone can enjoy!