No! I don't run around in my bare feet all day! STUMPID!!!! You guys are so stumpid. Okay, my feet are actually shoes! I'll tell you how:
Okay, so like, this one day, I was like, shopping at the mall, and I like saw an totally awesome pair of high heels. I was like, "OH MY GOD! I JUST gots to have THOSE!!!!!"
So then this guy comes up to me and says, and I quote: "AAAAHH!!! KAWABUNGA!!!! SHOO-SHOO SHHOOOOOO!!!!!!"
I was like, totally weirded out. So I said "shoes?".
He was like "OOOOOOOOH YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!! SHOO SHOO SHOO SHOO!!!!!!"
I was like, "Show me show me show me!!!!!"
He was like "OOOKKKAAAYYYY!!!!!!"
So he took me to his lair. It was a cave in the middle of the woods. I couldn't see inside because it was so dark. He made some weird screaming noises and a very bright light shined. I closed my eyes and the next thing I knew I was in a metal laboratory type thing. All the walls were metallic, and there was weird probes with electricity, big tanks, chemicals with smoke coming out of them, you know; the movie type lab. So he took me to this chair. He said "KAWABUNGA!" i guess he wanted me to sit down.
I sat down in the chair and he strapped me in. Did I mention that it was a chair? So he took this chair and he started playing with my feet. It tickled. Did I mention I was sitting in a chair? So he tickled my feet and it played, I mean played with my feet and it tickled, and he said "KAWABUNGA!"
With a flash of blurgsfitocn I had no shoes on. He took a electricity probe and aimed it dangerously towards my feet. I screamed...
I screamed liked I never screamed before. The force raged through me and I destroyed the place with my powers. I pushed and pulled objects everywhere, I broke the bonds on the chair, a bunch of chemicals spilled. You know, the movie type force rage. I then kicked the guy square in the face. I knocked him out cold. And for some strange reason, I didn't feel it. I kicked the wall. IT DIDN'T HURT! It must have been the force rage that made my feet invincible.
I hoped you enjoyed my story. As they say "today is yesterday's tommorrow."